Consistency: we all struggle with it. Why? There are so many reasons, and trying to figure out the “why” is arguably LESS important than preparing yourself for the struggle and finding the strength to push through. Join me as we talk about “the dip,” coined by Seth Godin, which refers to the point in time when you stop making easy progress, your growth slows down, and you just want to give up.
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Consistency: It’s Hard For All Of Us.
Consistency. I struggle with it. You struggle with it, that’s why you’re here, right?
Why is consistency hard though?
I sat down and literally Googled “why is consistency so hard?” and guess what? The answer isn’t really clear.
Why?
Because there are a thousand reasons why consistency is hard…here are some I brainstormed in about 2 minutes:
- Chasing perfection, which is unattainable
- It’s draining doing the same old grind
- Reward isn’t good enough
- Not enough visible progress
- Emotional rollercoaster
- Afraid to succeed
- Afraid to fail
- Analysis paralysis: stuck researching without enough action
- Too boring doing the same thing over and over again. Seeking a challenge; not stimulating doing the same thing over and over
- Life gets in the way
- Always saying yes to other things
- Lazy / low energy
- Other commitments
It’s tricky because a lot of times, there are multiple reasons at play.
And it’s not like it’s the same each time.
I can’t just simplify things and say “well, I’m bad at consistency because I suffer from analysis paralysis which keeps me in my head and prevents me from taking regular action.”
That’s TRUE when it comes to career related projects, but that certainly doesn’t come to play with other things I struggle to be consistent at.
Why have I not gone hiking despite going at least 3x a week a few years ago, like clockwork? It’s not like I’m hung up analyzing what trail I want to do and can’t make a decision. In that case, it’s more simple: I don’t want to get up at the butt crack of dawn, only to suffer through driving the long drive to the trail head, because the effort of doing all that doesn’t outweigh the reward. (I love being out, walking around in nature…but I can experience something similar by just walking around my neighborhood, without having to drive 1 hour, one way, to the trail.)
So, there are obviously situations when it’s clear that the reward does not outweigh the effort you put into being consistent.
Be Aware Of Situations When The Reward Does NOT Outweigh The Effort.
If you truly believe the reward is not worth it, then you’re right in not doing it.
But then, of course, there are situations when that is not the case.
Or, there are times when the reward isn’t so clear, and neither is the journey.
And then there are certainly times when our emotions get in the way and discourage us to keep going, even though we really ought to. It’s a bumpy ride, and although you have an idea what the “top” looks like, it’s not super clear. And that makes it hard for us humans to stick with, too.
Intensity vs Consistency
A lecture on Youtube by Simon Sinek addresses the difference between intensity and consistency. They are NOT the same thing.
In the lecture, Simon says that intensity is like going to the dentist. It’s fixed in time, you know what date you’re going, what time, you know how long you’re gonna be there, and you know that when you’re done at the dentist, your teeth will be clean and look good.
But of course – if all we did in the line of tooth care is go the dentist, our teeth would fall out.
Because intensity is not enough.
In order to properly care for our teeth, we also need to brush our teeth twice a day for 2 minutes….but it doesn’t do anything UNLESS you do it every single day. And that’s why we need to be consistent.
You can leave out a day and your teeth will be ok. We don’t really know how many days we can leave out, and we don’t know how many times you have to brush your teeth before it works…and that, Simon says, is why people don’t like consistency like this.
We like intensity, because intensity is predictable, reliable, and can easily be measured.
But you can’t keep up with intensity like you can consistency.
We all know that, yet so many of us fight it. We’re wired to want the instant results and the instant gratification.
We Live In An Instant Gratification World
And I get it, because that’s what our culture is all about. Thanks to Amazon and other retailers, I can get basically anything I want – except an at-home COVID test, because those have been sold out for over a month! – delivered to my doorstep the next day or quicker.
Very rarely do we have to wait a week for a new episode of a show to come out – and if we do, let’s face it, we’re kind of annoyed. These days, we can just binge watch the entire series.
Notice How This Shows Up In Marketing Messaging We Are Drawn To
You can see our preference for instant gratification come out in the way companies market to us and what messages we’re drawn to.
There’s a reason you see headlines like “lose 10lbs in 2 weeks with this magic juice cleanse!” and not “lose an unspecified amount of weight in an unspecified amount of time by eating healthier in general.”
We know the latter works, but it’s not the flashy, intense option. We want the option with the predictable, measured results bc if there’s no guarantee when or how much something is gonna work…why do it?
Remember: It IS About The Journey, Not The Destination
We’ve all heard the quote before.
“It’s about the journey, not the destination.”
We all know what it means, surface-level, but when we’re living in this goal-oriented, instant gratification world, it’s hard to truly LIVE it. Like, there is A LOT of focus on the destination, amirite?
I keep falling victim to this as well. I’ve been doing the whole online business thing for nine years now, but I have neglected my social media presence. So now, I find myself essentially starting from scratch on Instagram. I’m building my account up slow and steady. Sometimes it’s fun. A lot of the times, it is not so fun. In fact, it feels a bit hopeless sometimes. I haven’t reaped the rewards and it’s hard to not get self-conscious from time to time when I look at my minuscule follower count…especially when we are part of a world that places such a big emphasis on that very count.
The thing is though, when you have this mindset, the whole “I ain’t shizz unless I’ve got 20,000 Insta followers,” you take away the joy in the journey. You become so focused on reaching this number that represents success to you that, if you’re not there, anything less is a failure.
Focus On The Byproducts of the Journey
There are lot of byproducts of showing up and being consistent.
With my social media journey, I’ve connected with some new people, made some great connections, all of which has been rewarding.
I’ve also improved my video editing skills in a huuuuuuuge way, because with Instagram prioritizing video, I had to step up my game.
Surviving The Dip
A lot of people are going to hit that point when it’s too hard and quit, because who likes pain and suffering, right?
There’s a book called “The Dip” by Seth Godin, and full disclosure, I haven’t actually read the book, but I did read a few summaries of the main takeaways. The book discusses “the dip” – as indicated by the title – which illustrates the low parts on your journey to success, more or less.
The Road To Success Is Not Linear
We all have such a linear idea of what success looks like: we’re gonna start, it’s gonna be good, it’s going to continue to get better, it’s going to go up and up and up and then we’re going to reach our reward.
But, most of the time, it really don’t be like that.
Instead, things are good at the beginning and you’re seeing results and/or rewards, but then you hit something called “THE DIP” and the reward vs the effort is reduced.
The dip may feel pretty bad, honestly.
You may feel overwhelmed and like the work is difficult.
You may feel like you made the wrong choice.
Maybe you’re bored.
Who knows! Every situation is different and honestly, I feel like the reason why matters less than the fact that it is inevitable…the dip is going to happen, and you’re going to want to quit.
But if you push beyond this dip, in time – and sometimes, it’s gonna take a lot of time – you will overcome the dip and be highly rewarded. That’s the idea.
Know When To Quit, Too
Now, a big part of the book is that you need to know when to quit, too.
Sometimes you’re in something they call a cul-de-sac…essentially you’re just struggling and spinning your wheels and things aren’t going to get any better, no matter how hard you try.
It’s certainly important to recognize when it’s REALLY the time to quit…and I do just want to acknowledge here that, you should ALWAYS trust your instincts, boundaries, and your own personal limits. I do think it can be dangerous to fall into the whole “when the going gets tough, the tough get going” mindset, because it can encourage us to stick in situations that just aren’t good for us. And of course, there are toxic people, relationships, and situations out there that you should quit, IMMEDIATELY, for your own wellbeing.
The Dip Weeds Out Competition
With that being said – the fact is, a lot of people fall into the basic trap of failing to stick the dip out at all…they turn around the MOMENT they see the bump in the road. Some people live their whole lives like this. And we can assume this is one of the many reasons why so many new companies and start-ups fail. The dip weeds out competition because people who have less passion, less talent and skill (or less desire to acquire the talent and skill…), and less dedication are not going to make it through.
And so just by COMMITTING to push through a dip – committing to keep going, committing to taking consistent action and steps toward your goal, even when it’s hard – you’re already increasing your chances of success.
How To Weather The Stormy Seas Of The Dip
But of course, weathering the storm is gonna be hard, and you may have moments where you want to quit. It’s important to check in without yourself and when you have moments where you feel like quitting, ask yourself…
- Do you still want to reach your goal? There are gonna be times when things no longer feel in alignment, and that’s ok. Maybe the world has changed. Maybe YOU have changed. But a lot of the time, I think you’ll find you do still want to reach your goal.
- Do you still believe in what you are doing? Is it really time to throw In the towel, or is it just your self-doubt talking? Dealing with self doubt itself can be a journey all its own! If you struggle with this of have in the past, It’s important to be hyper aware and recognize when the self doubt voice is talking, because the self doubt voice has a warped view of things!
- Do you still have the talent to get there? This is another question where you should make sure your answer isn’t clouded by self doubt.
- Are you seeing signs of improvement, if if they are small and the process feels slow? If the answer is yes, take some time out to reflect on this!
- What small wins or byproducts have there been on this journey? In my book, personal wins like “doing this increased my confidence” counts, too.
Set Realistic Expectations + Celebrate Consistency Itself
I also invite you to set realistic expectations: things take time to develop, and people overestimate what they can achieve in a period of time.
Celebrating your the measurable things is important…if you lose 20 lbs, you absolutely should celebrate! But why not also celebrate 6 months of consistent workouts, no matter what the scale says?
Focus On The Bigger Picture
And also…remember that you’re only human. You’re not a robot. Treat yourself with a lot of grace.
There are gonna be times when life gets in the way of whatever it is you’re doing. Focus on the big picture and think of consistency as an accumulation of your actions over time. Not every day is gonna be a banger. Some days you’ll be hard pressed to identify even the smallest of wins. That’s ok.
Remember earlier I mentioned how Simon Sinek compares intensity and consistency to brushing your teeth? If you miss one night of brushing your teeth – it’s not the end of the world. Your teeth aren’t going to fall out the next day. If you miss one YEAR of brushing your teeth? Well, that may be a different story.
Try to think of consistency on those terms…it doesn’t need to be perfect. In fact, it can be a little messy.
It’s ok to have a hiccup or a slip up, or multiple slip ups.
The important part is, you’re out there doing it, and the results are going to follow…eventually! This is one of those situations where trusting the process really does apply!